One way that we get caught up in compulsions online is by trying to use the internet to manage and avoid feelings. This can be rocket fuel for procrastination. A common example of this is believing we need to watch some videos online to get in the mood to do homework, and then discovering it’s several hours later, we’re still looking for that right feeling to help us get started, but now it’s too late to start!
We might also use technology to fill empty space and escape feelings. We want to avoid a feeling like boredom, so we fill it with scrolling. All that scrolling might not even be enjoyable, but the feeling of boredom is even scarier.
Building healthy online skills will involve changing your relationship with feelings. It’s going to be about noticing that resistance to empty space and learning how to enjoy it. You don’t have to be constantly spinning those wheels in your head. You can simply enjoy being.
It’s going to be about doing actions you value, regardless of the presence or absence of feelings. You don’t need motivation. Chasing motivation and feeling of being ready only leads to not having those feelings.
EXERCISE: Do an action without using the internet to manage your feelings.
Today, on your adventures. Look for an opportunity to do an action you value when you don’t feel ready to do it or it feels like the “wrong” time. Maybe you believe you need to watch some YouTube videos before starting work for the day, or that you can’t go to sleep without listening to a podcast. Maybe you believe you have to send important messages when you have space to sit down and control the environment around you perfectly. Or maybe you only exercise when you get angry at yourself, after scrolling through Instagram fitness accounts and doing lots of unhealthy comparing. Or you’re just generally procrastinating on something you’ve been meaning to do. You can do the thing. You don’t need to ask the internet for permission. That’s like asking a toaster if it can manage your feelings for you so you can live your life.
Now you’re in charge.