At first, when you’re learning how to cut out compulsions, they can be very automatic, from years of practice. When we’re bored, it’s like bodies know to pull out the phone, shove it in our faces, and start scrolling, before we’re even aware of what’s happening.
This is entirely normal. You’re learning a totally new way of interacting with feelings and systems that permeate every aspect of our lives. There is no button to tap and instantly make this happen. It’ll take practice, just like you practiced your way into it.
So learning how to notice when you’ve started doing compulsions, and step away from that, will be a key support. It’s going to feel so wrong. Your brain will tell you that you may as well keep going and get it out of your system and tomorrow you’ll make sure you don’t do that compulsion. (Your brain is lying to you.)
When we start doing compulsions, playing games, throwing images in front of our brains, they light up. We start chasing feelings and want more of them. Every machine in our skulls gets spinning at full power. And we can stop, and make a different choice.
All we ever have, in any moment, is the possibility to make choices about how we spend our time and energy. There’s nothing in the rule book that says you have to let inertia push you around and make decisions for you.
EXERCISE: Understand what’s just-off-the-path
The actions that are way off the path are the compulsions you’re cutting out. The actions that are on the path are the valued actions you’ve been identifying for each week. But what we’re most interested in for today’s exercise, are the actions just off the path. These are the seemingly normal actions we do that set up the compulsions. So a huge support with cutting out the compulsions is to not even start on the just-off-the-path actions.
What have you learned this week through your adventures?
What actions or locations get your brain into compulsion-mode?
What are some activities that may seem normal but they always precede compulsions online or the urge to do compulsions online?
Today and in the weeks ahead, how can you disrupt these old patterns?